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with Rev. Colonel Charles Montgomery, 1st Battalion C of E

You have long been an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage and more generally of a perceived liberalisation within the Church of England. Why take the decision to militarise now? What’s changed?

To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to kill. I know there is no good in them and God requireth that which is past.

Right. Okay. It has been noted by numerous commentators, including, as you know, some prominent voices who share many of your… traditionalist views pertaining to the future direction of the Church, that this escalation, an escalation expressly instigated by you, Reverend Colonel, coincides almost to the day with the departure of your avowed arch-nemesis, a man you have described variously as a Marxist agitator of the most pernicious creed and a necromancing, bearded Jezebel, from the helm of the Church. There is near consensus, is there not, that Mr Williams’ replacement will be a less divisive figure, if not quite the shade of candidate you would, I shudder to think, prefer to see in the Archbishopric, so I ask you again, Reverend Colonel, why now?

When so many straws are adrift in the shifting desert sands, it is a fool would think he could predict which one might break the camel’s back. If we were to learn only one thing from our Nation’s recent defensive military operations it should be this: the sooner that one takes pre-emptive defensive measures, and the less that the Enemy knows of your intentions or the lengths to which you’re willing to go, the greater are your chances of success. Week one at Sandhurst, it truly is the most rudimentary of… But I must stress, in no uncertain terms, that we are seeking a peaceful conclusion to this long struggle – a struggle, I might add, that we neither chose nor instigated – for the soul of our Church; it may be considered unfashionable in the Socialist Synod these days, but there are still some of us who believe that there is a place for Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ and the traditions that he gave us in the Church of England. Is that so unreasonable? And is it anything less than prudent that we do all that it is in our power to do to convey the sincerity with which we cherish our beliefs and to rejoice in the force of God’s everlasting and unyielding Love?

Which brings us to recent developments in London, Brighton, St Ives and elsewhere. I speak of course of the growing spate of killings that, because of the methods employed and the prominence within public life of the majority of the victims, are being, however much you might roll your eyes, referred to widely in the media as assassinations. You have been very careful, it seems to me, not to claim responsibility for any of these murders, but it is also true that you have neither condemned nor distanced yourself from them. Take Mr Tatchell, for instance. It is well documented that there was no love lost between you, and I understand that the CPS is looking into possible incitement charges against two of your less guarded colleagues. What I want to know, Reverend Colonel, is how you reconcile this with your repeated insistence that it is the sin that you hate, and not the sinner?

I can’t discuss individual assassinations, although I will say that I was saddened by Mr Tatchell’s death, as I am by all deaths; the flock is struck a heavy blow to the heart when any of its number is lost, even when the sheep in question has wilfully and knowingly wandered out among the treacherous rocks above the precipice. It is precisely because I love the sinner that I will no longer stand idly by and appease the sin as it grows in strength and number. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing, and if this were a virus we were discussing rather than a sin, and if the virus began to manifest with a dangerous new symptom –lesions, for instance – would you suggest that we give it the benefit of the doubt? Oh, the virus only wants lesions, it’ll be satisfied if you just let it have its lesions, viruses have rights too. What a preposterous notion! You cannot negotiate with a virus, you cannot contain a virus. Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a thousand battles without disaster. These tears shed over known radicals, subversives, anarchists and perverts reek exactly of the debased and wanton cancer that is gnawing God’s name from the heart of this Nation and leaving a husk for the vipers to cavort in and lay their eggs. Sentimentality! I can look you straight in your eye, like this, look at me when I’m talking to you, and I can tell you with absolute certainty that these lily-livered leftists are the same people who gushed over the fire of the hosts when He tested us with the Foot and Mouth pestilence. Do You People Want the Whole Flock to Die? There can be no half measures, there can be no hesitation, there can be no clemency. Direct. Force. Between the eyes BANG between the eyes BANG and cleanse it with fire cleanse it again. Who is like unto the beast? Who is able to make war with him? And there was given unto him a mouth speaking great things and…

Reverend Colonel Charles Montgomery, thank you for your time.